Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I am the conductor of the Transylvania Express. About a year ago, I was collecting train tickets when these two weird people came up to me and said, "Ving shoe laa na ha, ow no lee va na. Hee, Hee." In fact I wouldn't even call them people. They had green skin and two little green things coming out of their head. Oh yeah, did I mention they were only two feet tall? I asked them if they wanted anything and they said, "Na." And then it came to me! They were Martians!! So automaticaly I screamed, "Martians!" All of a sudden, the bigger one put his finger to his lips, pointed to my neck and said, "Mwahaha!" Then they put me in their little polka-dotted space ship, which had been blending in with a nearby leopard. What the leopard was doing out of the zoo, I don't know. They set the course for an endless route through the universe. Right now I am writing from a place near Jupiter. I have seen some amazing things out here. Although I don't recommend trying it. Their food is not very sustaining; by the looks of my meals, it would seem their favorite food is potato chips. They have a 18 year supply of them. Signing out.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Lily the mouse had just found out that her Aunt Lulu had died and left her 10 million, 5 hundred thousand, 9 hundred, and 53 dollars! Lily was now very famous, wealthy, and above all, very powerful. She was out buying cheese, Colby Jack, American, and Pepper Jack. When she got home, she told her messenger, the pigeon to summon all neighborhood dogs. The pigeon said to the dogs, Lily wants you. Uh-o, you're in trouble!! When they were all assembled around her they began to beg, "Please Lily, O powerful mouse, have mercy on us!" But all Lily said was, "Shhh" O.K., here's the deal, every dog that chases the alley cat will receive $100." The dogs replied in a chorus,"Alright!!", and were off! Within 30 seconds the cat that had once had Lily and her family on the dinner menu raced in and begged the mouse for help. O.K., I'll stop the dogs, but you will have to promise to never again try eat me or any other mouse in the world. And warn your kitty friends too." And from then on, thanks to Lily, dogs, cats, and mice lived peaceful together.