Saturday, May 23, 2020

doing my best (what does that even mean)

Photo by Yucel Moran on Unsplash

My first three years at college were not all what I'd call my best work. 

I could point out so many places where I might have done better. I definitely could have studied more for that exam. I could have actually edited that essay instead of just proofreading it and clicking it off into the void. With a few more hours, that other essay might have been really amazing.

But, for the last three years, I have been doing my best. 

I've learned that doing your best doesn't mean every. single. thing. you do is your best work. It doesn't mean giving 100% to every task that's set before me.

I think it just means: are you spending quality time on things that matter to you, and are you content with the results?

None of us have an endless supply of energy and cares to give. With our limited resources (aka we get tired and burnt out and don't have the emotional stamina to keep up with all we've committed to), it's not practical to always expect the best from yourself, at least not in the way "your best" is thrown around and defined.

I'm learning that everyone's idea of "good" is at least slightly different. This means their idea of best will never match mine. Which means "your best" is ultimately up to you.

I get to choose what I care about. I get to choose what to put time and effort into, and what to simply get through and move on from. Maybe that essay was subpar, but maybe I didn't need it to be stellar. Maybe there were other things going on in my life that I was putting a ton of effort into.

I just want to keep reminding myself that I can still be doing my best even if everything I produce isn't my best work.